Lesson.Learned.

I know I'm not completely over him. He still crosses my mind several times a day, but with each one of those times, a feeling of contempt also passes through my heart. Maybe if this happens enough, my heart will become completely hardened to him, and I'll get to the point where he doesn't affect me anymore. Well atleast I hope. I do think about him... a lot and my friends dont help much with that because they are constantly talking about him also. Its really annoying that I want to get over a boy that I never even dated. I think its funny to see him though. Because now that he has played me again I see him all the time. Everytime we pass in the hallway I just start talking with my friends and we start laughing, he gives me the puppy eyes all the time though. I hope that he sees how good I am without him. And I really hope that this new girl that hes dating was really worth losing someone like me. I can honestly say though, If he started talking to me again, I would flirt back and give him another chance and wathc him screw me over slowly again. But you live and you learn so if I still let him do it, I havent learned anything yet. I do have to thank him though, he gave me one of the best years of my life, he made me relize what I want in a guy, but most importantly, he tought me how to not fall so fastly for someone.
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So track has been everyday this week so if I am not on here for awhile I am really sorry.

Can't.Get.Over.Him.

I texted yet again today. This time he texted back though. I made an excusse to text him. I told myself that I needed to tell him about the volleyball games. What the heck is wrong with me that I have to lie to myself to text him? Things really bad are  going on. I shouldnt be doing this. Its pathic.

Sports.Sports.Sports.

I can honestly say I have no idea how people do not play sports throughout their school lifes. Thats all I do. People dont do anything and I'm in everything it kind of scares me. ahahh. Anyways sports are good for many things, welp, atleast for me. They can help you gain a bunch of things like new friendships and just feeling better about yourself. Personally I'm a flirt! Thats what I like to do, but I dont really like to date because it makes things offical. Anyways with sports you can talk to as much guys as you want and ever kick some of their butts if your fast like me. Hahah. I always face people in hurdles. They are my favorite thing to do for track and its my first year doing them. All of my friends do them to because I wanted someone to do them with me. But the great things about sports is that you dont have to have friends in a particular group or activity because you make a bunch of new ones. I also like sports because you get to meet a lot of new people in grades higher or lower than you which is going to be helpful in highschool. Welp, what I am trying to say is everyone should try atleast one sport because no matter how big or small theres one for everyone.

Few.Favorite.Quotes.

1)Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie underneath the start and listen to your heartbeat, and who will stay awake just to watrch you sleep.Wait for the guy who will kiss your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you're in sweats, who holds your hand iun front of your friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without make-up on. Wait for the guy who will constantly remind you of how much he cares for you and ow how lucky he is to have you, and who will turn to his friends and say, "That's her."

2)If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy enough for her.

3)You always say you hate to see me hurt, and you hate to see me cry. So all those times that you hurt me, did you close your eyes?

4)If you love me let me know, if not please gently let me go.

5)I don’t forgive people because I’m weak. I forgive them because I’m strong enough to know people make mistakes.

6)Never ask "What's wrong?" if you dont really care. Never talk about feelings if they aren't really there. Never hold my hand if you going to break my heart. Never say you're going to if you never plan to start.Never look into my eyes if your going to lie. Never say hello if you really mean goodbye. Never say "I love you" if you don't really mean it. Because I might do something crazy, like actually believe it.

7)If a woman asks you a question, it’s better to tell her the truth because chances are she’s asking you because she already knows the answer.

8)One day you’re gonna want her. That girl that knew she wasn’t perfect, but tried to be for you. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and loving you was the only way she could. The girl who saw your flaws, but valued them as much as your strengths. That girl who still can’t bring herself to hate you, even though sometimes you probably deserved it. The girl that should have you, but doesn’t.

9)Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. Give her sperm, she will give you a baby. Give her a house, she will give you a home. Give her groceries, she will give you a meal. Give her a smile, she will give you her heart. So if you give her crap, be ready to receive much more than what you're giving her

Yup, I texted him again. What the heck is wrong with me? I lied to myself about a reason to text him. I'm freaking lost without him. This legit sucks. What can I do to keep him off my mind and out of my life?

Big.Mistake.

So I was almost text free for 4 days. But today I blew it. He didnt text me back though so maybe hes mad at me? Anyways, today I fould out something very unbelievable. While me and him were "talking" about getting together he made out with some girl he met at his wrestleing meet. I want to punch him in the face, but then again I want to thank him for making me relize what Im deff. not missing. haha, hes such a joke. Boys are dumb, welp atleast this one.
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Anyways, I needed some major girl time today because of what I found out about him. So I went to my friends house to do some working out. I know, 13 and works out. I really like to feeling of it, plus it helps get all of the stress and anger out of me while being dumb and young with my friend. We did a lot of things from head to toe full body workout. It was amazing. But now Im really tierd but I still have to shower. And on the other had I have to get up for track practice tomorrow morning. Uggh.
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My gameplan for the weekend.

• Go to track
• Go to dads
• Volleyball game (STATE)
• Go back to moms
• Workout with friends.

Getting.Over.Him.

So today was was I like to call an amazing day! The weather was great and the news I found out was welp,, amazing. My friend came up to me and told me that the BS guy I used to like was just staring at me and was like lost in me. haha, Good, now he gets to see what he lost! I didnt text him at all, all day long. Nor did I even think about him! Ahhh, it feels really good to be free from that BS guy. Today we  started ISATS. Uggh, wasnt too bad except for Science! I felt like I knew nothing at all. It was dumb. Ohh well though. The ISAT peroids are my favorite EVER. haha. Anyways, I seen this new guy today... I feel like I get all strawberry faced when I see him. . . Not cool. Oh well<3

                                                              The BS boy
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I have a HUGE problem about this though. I feel like if he tried talking to me again I would fall all over again! I really need some help on relizing how to stay away from a sisuation like that. I mean I want to be friends with him ever though he screwed me over,,, Its just that I dont want to fall for the same game hes played on me twice! Obvisuly, Im not completly over him, Nor do I ever think I will be.. But I need help!


                                                            The New Boy
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Another problem. Welp actually a few. As Ive stated before my friend has to biggest crush on him. Yesterday she told me that she thinks he might actually like her back... Of course I want her to have a boyfriend and all, Id rather her have one than me but I just dont want her to have a relationship with the guy I like. I understand she doesnt want me having one with him either. So one of us are going to have to suck it up and deal with it. But she talks to him,, and I have no classes with him and hes usually at lunch detention for not getting homework done. And she texts him all the time. Ever since he got a new number we havent talked... Which has been for like a month. So I think she has this in the bag.

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I have noticed that no one has commented on any of my blogs. It makes me feel boring. Please comment so I dont stop doing this because I actually like it.
Lots of love- That.One.Girl.

Best.Day.Yet.

So today I went to school to find my bestfriend had gotten us a notebook and some really cool pens so we didnt have to waste as much paper writing eachother everyday. I thought it was really cool and I cant wait to decorate it! But our volleyball girls are STATE bound!! Now thats something to cheer about, Whoop Whoop! It was really a good game! But I texted that one guy that played me and told him we won and I didnt text him back after he texted me! It felt really great to not text him back or have the urge to text him back! Ever since I started this blog it really helped keep me occupied... Except no one is commenting on any of my stuff. I uderstand that people dont want to read about some girl getting screwed over by a guy,, but you can send me in suggestions and questions and I would be more than happy to answer them! Ask me anything! But this new boy, told my friend that he likes me yesterday.. But like I said i cant like him. But hes reallly cutee and hes not one of the jocks that I usually go for. Actually hes not in any sports.! Crazy. Ahh, I cant get over how good of a day it was today. We had our first track practice which was really fun,,,(gotta work on the abs) But I feel like this year ever since we got a new girl all of our friendships have fallen appart. So im really relying on this sport to help build everyones friendship back together while kicking some massive butt!


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New.Boy.

It's been about and hour maybe a little more and im trying to find a different guy to get involved with while trying to get over that one boy. Isnt that that best way to get over some one though? Welp, in my case I think it is. If I'm talking to this new guy 24/7 then how will I have anytime for the other one that screwed me over?! Sounds good to me. Anyways I think I'm going to go back to this other guy that is super cuteeee and nice. He asked me out while I was talking to the guy that broke my heart so I said no. No guy nor girl should ever be somones second choice though so I am feeling really bad. Plus my bestfriend just told me that she likes him. Gossh, I am in such a pickle. He still says that he likes me, actually he told me he did yesterday but how could I do this to my bestfriend.?! Maybe I can make this new guy just my bestfriend? Then she can still have him? But I still don't know because the more I think about him to more I really really want him. I am so confused with life right now. I mean a boyfriend isnt the most important thing in the world but it would be nice to have someone there to call me beautiful and want to kiss me. Is there anything wrong with that? It would be nice to atleast talk to him and see what happens. But I told my friend that I like him and now she is totally pissed. I dont blame her though I would do the same thing. Maybe I'll sleep on it?

Screwed.Over.Once.Again.

There was this boy. I liked him since school started,, but he dated 2 of my bestfriends. As you can see that was a huge problem. I had a rule about dating people that my friends have dated. Nor would I even think about dating him while they were dating... But with him none of that mattered and all of my rules went out the window. But I really liked this guy. I think I fell inlove with him. Yes, I'm only 13 years young but I believe that it doesn't matter how old or young you are... You can't stop your heart from loving. We started texting while he was dating my bestfriend.. welp when he dated both of them. &I really started havin feelings for him. I thought I could tell that he liked me to because he would text me more than anyone else and we would talk all night long. He would tell me all of his problems and when I told him mine he listened and seem really interested. Then he got done dating my friend. We started talking more and playing some pretty interesting games of 21 questions. Then he told me he thought I was flirting with him when him and my friend broke up. I said no and that if I was flirting he would know it. But then once I looked back at everything I relized.... I fell inlove with him. It was pathic. All of that was towards the beggining of the school year and it is now the middle of the year. We started talking about dating.. but I knew it was nothing true. He started calling me and even though i knew it wasnt true, I still couldnt help myself from hopeing it was. Then he made me really mad because he knew how I felt about him and about how hurt I was when he dated my friends and not me. Of course he told me he didnt know and how sorry he was.. Then about a month later he was with a different girl. At first he didnt tell me about her.... but I already knew because it was my bestfriends sister! About a week pasted and he was still flirting with me acting like he didnt have a girlfriend. So I brought the topic up. He didnt really have anything to say about it though. After that I didnt want amything to do with him. I deleted his number and removed him from my life. About 2 months pasted and I was done and moved on. I started talking to other guys and felt so good about myself. Then he texted me... As soon as I found out it was him, My stomach dropped and I started all over with the feelings. I told myself that I wasnt going to be his second choice,, back up plan,, rebound nothing. So I was just friends with him. We texted everyday and then he became my bestfriend. Then the feelings started coming back. Now were towards the end of the school year. So 2 weeks ago he started flirting with me. I was used to this because we always flirted. But then he told me he loved me. My heart dropped from my stomach. Of course everytime he texted me that already happened but this time.... it never came back up. I told him that I loved him to. This was a HUGE move on my part because I have never even told a boyfriend that I loved him. I had to ask him something though,, I asked if he was going to play me.(Like he did before) &he said that he wasnt like that. I believed him. I couldnt tell any of my friends about this nor about me liking him.(they always talked about how much they hated him but I really knew that they all liked him.) So I kept it to myself. He wasnt only a guy I loved... he was also my bestfriend so I trusted him with everything. But I always felt like he was imbarrsed to tell his friends that he liked me. He got SO mad at me. He couldnt believe that I thought that. But I did and I couldnt take it back until I knew the truth. He told me that none of his friends would care... Like my friends would they hated him but I still grew some balls and told them. It made me really upset. So I think he told his friends,,, but im still not 100% positive. He did tell me that he wanted to date me but he wasnt going to ask me out over the phone. & hes in 8th grade and im in 7th so we didnt see eachother. We had this big ilove you more fights for like 4 nights. and he said he loved me more than words and feelings could compare to. I thought he really did love me.. but boy was I wrong. One night he just stopped texting me. I guess he got bored. It was 3 days that he didnt text me but it felt like a lifetime. He said that he lost his phone. I thought and still do think that was a bowl of bs. Then he told me that he loves me. So I thought everything was fine. The next message proved me wrong. He said that he loved me but doesnt want to date. My stomach dropped, not in the good way. I wanted to cry. Then the next day he told me that I looked hot at school. I wanted to kill this kid for all of the games. But this time it only took 3 days for me to love him again and for him to "love me". I dont want to get played again. I dont know how to stop him from coming into my heart and breaking down my walls again. It makes me want to cry. I can barley go a day without talking to him or else Im sad. Hes the only one I think about all day long. Hes never off my mind. I cant help it. Im not going to let him get to me but its so hard becasue all he has to do is say hey and im back in the plams of his hands. Im crushed.
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